National Kidney Foundation: 2012 Kansas City Walk

Did you have, "Help cure a chronic illness" on your To-Do list today? Well, you can getter done!

I am participating in this year's Kidney Walk in honor and memory of my dear friend Marcus Matthews. My goal is to raise $50. Please go online via the link below to my page and donate! You will undoubtedly impact a life!

National Kidney Foundation: 2012 Kansas City Walk

Welcome Back Kotter!

 So I haven't blogged since 1962, because lately I've been feeling like this...

         but, I'm getting back to this...  

So what have I been up to?  Well I've been...

striving to hear God's voice

student teaching

raising a 5 year old

striving to hear God's voice

writing papers for my masters coursework

striving to hear God's voice

striving to hear God's voice

oh, and striving to hear God's voice :)

In this season of learning to trust I have found that discerning God's voice is very difficult if:

a) you're reluctant to follow His instructions

AND

b) you aren't knowledgeable about His Word

Unfortunately, I am guilty of both.  Yet God's love and grace is constant.  I feel Him leading me, still welcoming me to Him, wanting to free me from my anxities and doubt.  Each day I am encouraged by God, through songs, scriptures, emails.  (btw, those emails are a whole 'nother blog post!).  I'm choosing to trust, because "when you ask, you must believe and not doubt, because the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind" (James 1:6)

Balance

To me life has so much to do with balance.  A balance between living in the world, but not of the world.  A balance between giving the flesh what it needs, but not whatever it pleases.  A balance between hating sin, yet loving the sinner.  A balance between having admiration versus harboring feelings of coveting.  

Right now I feel as if I am living life a bit imbalanced...there's not enough of the Spirit ruling within me.  I am sure that a little talk with Jesus will make it right, but what about when you don't want to have a talk with Jesus because you know HIS way of making it right will come at a cost to you?  More specifically, a cost to my comfort.  Then I suppose there is another form of balance, accepting what you can get and realizing that you can't always get what you want.  

So, I have a choice to make: Live life imbalanced, or in harmony with the will of God?

And So It Seems...

that I'm always in a reflective mood,

wondering how trees give us air

and how the tide is pulled by the moon

And I believe that most things begin genuinely,

but end up corrupted like

marriage, human creation, and police stations

At least so it seems...

that we always find ways to fill our time

except we don't have any hours

to honor the Divine

And so it seems that life is full of perplexities

and we try and make the best guess

of what the answers could be

And so it seems that crap always hits you

when your're down

And it seems that we embelish to make things better,

but why can't we be satisfied with the way things are?

And it seems that you haven't achieved anything

unless someone envies who you are,

but you don't need to be on a cover to be a star

Go on, and live by your heart

And please God

It seems it's hard to get people

to think like you do

because everyone believes they possess some truth

It seems we all live a life filled with contradictions

instead of our reality we yearn for fiction

for another life

for another place

At least, that's how it seems to me.

Remorse

You can never really be sure that a person is sorry.

Actions are precipitated by motivations

and we can never judge true motivations

until we enter hindsight.

When you are hurt,

it is the hardest thing to extend forgiveness

without knowing whether that person is really sorry

It is truly righteous to give mercy in the midst of

uncertainty and pain.

You may never know, but you give it anyhow

Just as it is always given to us from Above

I Gotta Be Me

My only aim is to finish the race and complete the task the Lord Jesus has given me---the task of testifying to the Good News of God's grace. (Acts 20:24, NIV)

"You' re the only person in the world who can live your life.  No one else can live your life for you, and no one else is in competition with you to complete the task Jesus gave you.  Take a deep breath, and rest in the truth that God created you with such a unique mix of spiritual gifts, passions, abilities, personality, and experiences that only you can be you.  No one else can duplicate you, and you cannot, should not, imitate another, you are an original masterpiece from the Master's hand."

---Jon Walker

Lip Service

When someone asks you to pray for them, do you really do it?  When you hear about a situation that needs prayer, how do you respond?  Lately I've received a lot of prayer requests, they're usually phrased like "Just keep us in your prayers" or "Pray for my family".  I realize that until recently I would assure the individual that I would meet their request, only to walk away and not really think about the request anymore.  It's not that I was being fake, but rather I wasn't taking the opportunity to pray in the moment.  God is good about giving us opportunities for growth. In light of my family's recent tragedy I have been urged to pray more and more.  In fact, during an interview yesterday I spoke with a fellow interview candidate and as I listened to her tell me about her family's economic struggles and her own disability I found myself praying in my heart "Lord, please bless her with this job.  She really needs it".  I'm sitting here praying for my competition without a second thought!  Later, while driving home from the interview I heard a prayer request on the radio for a family whose baby is undergoing surgery and as I drove I instantly began praying in my heart and mind for the entire surgery to be a success and for his family to remain hopeful during this time.  I've realized that I do not want my agreement to pray for someone to simply result in lip service, just saying "Yes, I will pray", and then forgotten when I pray at night.  Instead I will pray in the moment.