Today I decided to share a page with you all from my prayer journal:
I am tormented day and night by thoughts. Anxious about my future—near and distant. I doubt if I am living right. How can I know for sure? Everything I read seems to speak to my emotional state. Everything I read seems to point out my flaws. I am not sure if what I feel is righteous conviction or pangs of guilt. So I search for answers. I look to God. I do not believe my Lord in Heaven desires to torment me. Yes scripture corrects and enlightens the reader about what is truth. I receive these benefits and more from scripture. Does Satan twist God’s words? (Yes, think of the Garden of Eden). How can I be more on my guard against this type of deceptive attack? I am not enjoying or counting my blessings, instead I am anxious about when my “good fortune” will turn and when the blessings will run out. What a way for the believer to live…confused, anxious, in doubt. Lord Help Me.
Yep. Even a believer can become distraught in their faith walk. In fact, 1 Peter 5:9 guarantees that we all undergo the same sufferings. And then I read this:
My PEACE is the treasure of treasures: the pearl of great price. It is an exquisitely costly gift, both for the Giver and the receiver. I purchased this Peace for you with My blood. You receive this gift by trusting Me in the midst of life’s storms. If you have the world’s peace—everything going your way—you don’t seek My unfathomable Peace. Thank Me when things do not go your way, because spiritual blessings come wrapped in trials. Adverse circumstances are normal in a fallen world. Expect them each day. Rejoice in the face of hardship, for I have overcome the world.
---an excerpt from Jesus Calling by Sarah Young
I'm much better now. :)